Moved to effeweseakae.
Add me there :)

I don't think I ever mentioned how my doctor's appointment went? Everything was fine as far as I could tell. Using that little round wheel thingy they estimated my due date to be Oct. 31st. A halloween baby :) Cool. They gave me prenatals (which I can't keep down) and she told me I can keep taking the zoloft (so far I've kept that down two days in a row...) but I think I am going to stop taking it when i get further along in the pregnancy and get out of this miserable depressed hateful stage. I really don't want my newborn to have withdrawals.

My pap came back negative which was awesome because I definitely did not want to deal with more colposcopies (sp?) and biopsies.

So, I was happy and everything was fine until I went to mom's and found out judges won't grant divorces when you're preggers. Never mind that I haven't spoken to the cocksucking bastard in two years, or that our marriage was laughable at best (come on, we got married in February and his girlfriend was pregnant in November?) but now I can't divorce him because I'm pregnant by SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY. Gee, I love the court systems.
So Patrick is tripping because me being married to the idiot means he's the legal father until a DNA test proves otherwise. Neither of us want the baby to have the ex's last name...and I don't want him even mentioned period in regards to this child. So, we're going to a lawyer soon to see what can be done. I mean, there has to be a way to fix this.

I'm moody and just all around miserable. Constant nausea, constipation, hungry all the time, tired out of my mind, anemic but can't keep the iron pills down, and add to all that my face is breaking out and my hair refuses to grow...and I'm just an all around cunt lately.

I cried my eyes out the other night, and poor Patrick never saw it coming. I just rolled over and started bawling on him. I rarely ever cry, and never since I've been with him so I know it caught him completely off guard.

My birthday is tomorrow and I'm mostly just eh. I can't bring myself to care about it at all.

I AM excited about the baby, even though it might not seem like it. I'm just praying for this first trimester to be over and that the second trimester will be better. I want to be that happy glowy pregnant not this broken out, frizzy, too tired to do anything pregnant. I get sick to my stomach just taking a damn shower. wtf.

Patrick suffers the most. He thinks I don't like him, and it's not that at all. I don't like myself. I'm becoming this hermit and I can't help it.

So, anyway. 10 weeks down. 30 more to go.
woo.

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship? Yep. I love him :)

2) What was your dream growing up? Having one home for the rest of my life. Not having to move in the middle of the night, and never having to worry about going home and packing everything. Having lots of babies :)

3) What talent do you wish you had? singing. I wish I could sing really well instead of really horribly.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Well right now it would probably be a sweet tea LOL Under normal circumstances a beam and coke.

5) Favorite vegetable? hmmm I love broccoli. Corn too. Oh I don't know!

6) What was the last book you read? The Stanislaski Sisters by Nora Roberts. LOL I need to go to the bookstore!

7) What zodiac sign are you? Aries

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. Nostril, tongue, ears. Eyebrow but I think it closed. Small butterfly tattoo on my left calf.

9) Worst Habit? being lazy sometimes.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? If I knew you yes.

11) What is your favorite sport? I love to watch NFL football, and sometimes UK basketball. I don't play any sports.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude? It depends on the situation I think. Oh and whether I've had my meds or not!

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? I don't know. Hope you had some cards or crayons? LOL If it were someone I knew I'd probably talk their head off, but a stranger I would just sort of stand very quietly and not make eye contact.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? The boy who took my virginity beat the hell out of me.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you. I have mild OCD tendencies. There are some things that have to be done a certain way or it's not right.

16) Do you have any pets? Yep, Nonny the Rabbit

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? First I would wonder why you were stalking me since no one knows where I live LOL

18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!) Of myself? how silly.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? I think as long as I remember it's just some person dressed up to do silly things and make kids smile they are ok.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? Grow my hair back out!

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Depends on the crime. I'm a bit of a wuss.

22) What color eyes do you have? Dark brown

23) Ever been arrested? Nope.

24) Bottle or can soda? Bottle

26) Do you vote on Election days? No

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Pay off my bills and prepay our rent.

27) What's your favorite place to hang at? Home. I've always been a home body.

28) Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? This. I love the internet LOL Reading too.

30) Do you swear a lot? Yes

31) Biggest pet peeve? People in general

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself? meek

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance? I have my moments where it's a load of bull, but for the most part yes.

34) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you chose? An Island somewhere warm. Like the caymans.

35) Do you believe in God? Yes'm. Very much so.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Patrick's asleep and I don't want to wake him up, but I want to blog. Oh the dilemma.

You know, some things really piss me off...such as

At work I listen to talk radio all day. In the mornings it's bob and tom and in the afternoon I switch to a local station that broadcasts christian talk and such. So, one day it was all over the christian station about Planned Parenthood and how this group of students had called and pretended they were going to donate money but only if the money was used for aborting black babies. The guy specifically made comments like, "There are way too many black people out there" and other obviously racist comments, and the people that answered said yes. It was ok.. Youtube has it HERE.
Ok, so here's the thing..did anybody in the secular media bring this up? How many people out there actually heard about this? Show of hands?

Now, the next day I go to work and on two different morning shows I hear a news story about this Israeli researcher who says Moses may have been high on hallucinogens when he saw the burning bush and got the ten commandments. MOSES

Am I the only person who this doesn't sit right with? The general media is willing to go into just about any story about God not existing, or being made up, or even just trying to make nothing out of christianity but when Planned Parenthood acts a fool and shows its ass nobody cares. I know it seems like apples and oranges, but to me it's like this..a lot of christians who know their tax money goes to Planned Parenthood are against them. They want Planned Parenthood (and all other abortion clinics) defunded. The government (well, some of them) doesn't want that to happen so things like that are pushed to the back, they're not made into a big deal. This is a big deal to me. I mean shouldn't people be informed about things such as the place that is treating you was willing to take a donation to only abort a certain race? No apparently the bigger news story was Moses may have been drugged out of his mind.

Honestly, I don't want to go to a place for medical care that has these racist leanings. It always kind of freaked me out that they did abortions, but then I find out some things about their founder that just sort of make me cringe a little inside. I used Planned Parenthood because at the time it was the quickest and most inexpensive way to get birth control and pap smears, but what is the point in supporting a place that you don't believe in?

I used to be Pro Choice. I figured it's not right for me, but it might be for you. Now? I don't think it's right for anyone. I had never actually listened to how partial birth abortions were performed. I heard a little bit and just got nauseous. The other day I actually listened. Someone explain to me why you would go through the trouble of carrying the baby and delivering most of it just to kill it when you could let it be delivered all the way and a family that deserves it can have it? Why would you rather have a murder on your conscience than giving your child up?

That's not to say I don't support the morning after pill. Yeah, I think it's ok to stop the sperm from fertilizing the egg. Once it's fertilized though, that's the end of the line for me. That's when your choice is gone. You chose not to use birth control, you chose not to use condoms, you chose to have sex and take the risk. Please understand I don't include women who are raped in this category. That's a case where your choice was taken from you, not thrown out by you.

I have no problem with birth control. I am a christian but I am not perfect and I am far from clean. Premarital sex, children out of wedlock. I've done my share of bad things...but there are certain things that have nothing to do with religion. Whether or not you believe in God you have to believe that if something can grow, it's alive.

I completely lost my train of though, I think I'm waking Patrick up.

I'm going to quit ranting and bitching.. ACLJ Check them out.

PS we got all kindsa snow...did anyone else?

Spreading the love..from pink_cormandy


Copy and paste and answer in a comment..then paste it in your journal so everyone can do it :)

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

26) Do you vote on Election days?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30) Do you swear a lot?

31) Biggest pet peeve?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

34) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you chose?

35) Do you believe in God?

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Gah..hhmmm..I think I wanna try that voice posting thing.
Anybody ever use it? Does it work well? Not frustrating? It's hard to find peace time around here.

OK I HAVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW.
No ifs, ands, or buts. I overslept today from all that shnit I was doing last night. Not tomorrow. I'm going to bed now! Might need another ambien, cuz I don't really feel tired.

Hey, I didn't add anyone with and aversion to cursing did I? If I did let me know because honestly it's hard for me to censor myself and it's best if we just get it out of the way now.

oodles of toodles :)

oh I need a layout *puppy eyes* help?

GGRRRR..

My brakes have only been squealing for a year and doing this weird grinding thing and when I finally go to get them done the guy says they're fine and nothing needs to be done to them. So I'm assuming that the screwed upness is supposedly normal. We had them go ahead and change them anyway.

Then I go downstairs to do some laundry and the basement is flooded. The sub pump is broken and apparently water has been coming into the basement for a couple of hours because it was dry when I went down there earlier. Mom's all pissed off and got her panties twisted because everything is ruined. Well, if she didn't have two ton of clothes on the floor they wouldn't be ruined now would they?

We still haven't heard from ole girl about the apartment which just makes me want to scream. I want out of here so bad and there's always some kind of stupid setback.

gah. I guess in good news I got a new phone, and a new camera, and Patrick finally got a new tattoo. Katelyn got some clothes and we managed to get her bed the other day so when we finally do get to move she'll have her own bed again.

We went out saturday night with Timmy, Heather and Logan. Much fun was had. Electric Cowboy was PACKED and the lines at the bar were fucking outrageous but we did manage to snag a pool table and hogged it all night long.

I have to work tonight, which is ridiculous because I get a day off at one job and have to work at the other LOL. I haven't had to go in at B&BW for like two weeks, but now all of a sudden we get a day off at CB and I'm scheduled at B&BW. It's a conspiracy for sure.

Wednesday is the initial consult about my sleep test. I'm supposed to have all these papers filled out ..and be doing like a chart about my sleeping for the past few days. I'll have to make it up at the last minute like I do everything else. I couldn't sleep for hell last night and I had even taken a sleeping pill so blah.

GROW HURR GROW. This whole in the middle of grown out and short thing is getting on my last damn nerve.

OH OH and! crystal is all pissed off at me cuz of some stuff I said about her man...but the damndest thing is everything I said about him is basically what she has told me! She's never told me anything good about this boy but I'm supposed to think him capable of being a husband, and an army man, and a dad to her son. He's 18 for fucks sake! I just want to smack her and say wake the fuck up and quit thinking about his dick for 5 seconds!!! "He's so much more mature mentally." Yeah, I believe that @@


ok ok. I'm done.

Empty OH NO. Tomorrow, I promise. I've kept patrick awake long enough!